I hate change. Oops, did I admit that out loud?
It was my intent to embrace it this year (a New Year's Resolution of sorts), but I have to admit, I stink at accepting it.
Some changes are fabulous. Changes like a new haircut (well, on other people anyway), the weather change from winter to summer (I admit I could've used a little more "spring" this year), a pay raise (who would ever say no to that ) or a new car, are usually good changes. But some alterations to the "plan" just don't make me feel better. They make me feel cranky and out of sorts.
Most times I prefer the same old same old.
For example, I like knowing that my cottage neighbors will be there when the weather turns nicer and summer approaches, for our weekends of cards, happy hours, walks and fun. I like knowing that I will see my family more often as they come to my cottage for the water and beach. It always signals summer and that, for me, is the best time of year.
And this year I was happy and content knowing that all 3 of my kids were back under one roof and that soon, the dreaded homework pressure would finally be off for a couple of months and we could just chill.
Only what if my "plan" doesn't actually go "as planned". What if everything is different?
Would that put you in as much of a funk as it does me?
Because I am truly in a funk.
As it turns out, this year my cottage neighbors won't be back until July, my family is now loving my sister's new place on the lake and not coming to mine, Sadie is leaving our house/family in two weeks, and Mitch may have to take summer school. Not exactly what I'd hoped for.
I want things to be the way they have been. I liked them that way. I expected them to be that way. I counted on them being that way.
Instead, I have to get used to a new plan, a new way of doing things, and deal with a sense of loss that what I hoped would happen, what I counted on happening, may no longer be.
Waa waa waa.
Okay there, I just had to say it. To get it out and get over it. And to move on.
Embrace change, Terri.
C-mon grow up!
P.S. Okay who am I kidding, maybe tomorrow.