On and off for the last several years I have been blessed to help "mom" and guide some very strong young women. For a while our couch was a safe haven for those who needed a soft place to land. I affectionately call them the 'girls on the couch'. But they really are pieces of my heart. For each one has taught me lessons I desperately needed to learn. I am thankful for their love and their patience and for how they have shown me the way back to myself.
(While this passage is written to them---it is really about me and what I have learned along the way. While bits and pieces may resemble a real person on my couch, it is strictly coincidental.)
Dear Girl on My Couch:
Your life is so full of possibilities. Stop worrying so much about the future. Stop expecting the past to change or right itself. Stop clinging to the way you thought it should be or could be and start living and loving the moment in front of you.
Truly, fully, deeply.
There is nothing to be frightened of--nothing you cannot handle. No hurdle or roadblock you will not be able to get around or plow through. Don't let fear hold you back from being you.
Life may not always be easy, and it definitely won't happen like you thought, but that is okay. You will handle it. Especially if you stop resisting and learn to flow with life.
Planning it all out is not the way to happiness. It is a a control strategy your mind has put into place to try and keep you safe from failing. It doesn't work.
At the heart of it all is fear that you won't be able to handle it--whatever that is.
But you can.
You simply need to believe in the power of YOU and never give that power to anyone else. No one else can tell you if you are on track. Only you have that ability.
It will only serve as a lesson in major frustration --as even the most careful of planners will have the unexpected happen to them --it is how you respond that matters.
Never do what others want you to do, especially if it goes against your gut or if it stops you from following your heart.
Let your beautiful compassionate heart that feels so much lead you where it longs to.
Follow it with full trust.
Remember that wounds are temporary, and really just opportunities to learn more.
Scars are nothing to be ashamed of --use them as reminders of battles won. Opposition conquered. Wear them bravely and proudly.
They are simply physical reminders of lessons learned.
Someday you will have wrinkles and sags, and have collected more junk that you will ever know what to do with and yet you will remember the chances you took with a smile. You will treasure those adventures you didn't see coming.
Someday you will be proud of the times you stood your ground in the face of opposition. The times you risked being unpopular, or disappointed those whose opinion mattered most because it was the right thing to do (or say)-- or the times you felt alone and misunderstood, yet found strength and support from within.
You will remember standing in your truth and remaining true to your soul.
And looking back, most likely those times you disappointed others but remained true to your soul will be the turning points of your life.
The major themes in your story. The memories that make you believe in yourself again.
Better your life's road be long and winding with some meandering thrown in--than a straight and direct line to your grave.
Sweet girl what are you so afraid of?
You've been alone before--- and love has found you.
You've felt abandoned --and someone has stepped in to claim you.
You've felt hopeless --and hope showed up to renew your strength and belief in yourself.
You've given your heart away to the wrong person and it has come back a little broken, but still beating. And you've shielded your heart from others who continue to love you unconditionally. Both have left you with a greater understanding of love, a fuller heart.
When times get tough, remember to breathe. Focus on the next step --not the overwhelming big picture, and remember that you are never alone.
Remember that you are loved beyond measure.
That you are worthy of everything you desire.
That you matter and that your presence makes a difference.
And never forget that no amount of darkness inside is enough to extinguish your natural light.
Dear girl on the couch:
I see , honor, acknowledge and appreciate your light within, I always will. You cannotscare me away.