Tomorrow morning is our court date to see if we are awarded legal guardianship of Jeffrey.
I've never been in front of a judge before, for anything. I'm a little nervous.
What if they say we aren't worthy of this undertaking? That we haven't done a good enough job raising our own kids. That we aren't a better option than what he already had.
That would be silly, because I know that isn't true. But it would also be totally devastating, because we already love him and want him to be a part of this family.
I am hoping tomorrow in court they will be able to see into our hearts. To see that we love this boy, that we want to keep him safe, and to give him a solid foundation to grow from. To show him how life should be.
As the months go on, he's beginning to get more comfortable here. I love that he adds things like Red Bull to the grocery list, as if it might trick me into actually buying it. I chuckle when he complains about being exhausted after one pass around the yard with the mower. He has no idea what real work is like. And since he most recently moved back here from Texas, dare I remind him about having to shovel snow?
I love that he and Mitch recently decided that they wanted to share a room. My big hearted boy who for years asked for a baby brother, almost has his wish. (I'm hoping it is not just that he wants someone to boss around either.)
There are days when this decision of ours comes into question, when we wonder if we were nuts to think we could handle this. What if we fail?
But then there are days of laughter, and teasing, and love in our house that more than make up for the mess and the chaos and the worry about doing it right.
We'll gladly take prayers for extra strength tomorrow morning. And we are crossing our fingers that we are worthy in the eyes of the judge and more importantly, in Jeffrey's eyes.