What is the acceptable title for the journey I am on? A title that won't have fervent members of the religious community throwing up protection by declaring that they are Christians...as if that is reason to back away from me.
I consider my transformation from stressed out, overachieving control freak, to peace-filled yoga instructor as one of personal growth, and have referred to it often as a dedicated effort to uncover the best possible version of me.
But someone just acknowledged my transition as a spiritual quest.
And yes, I do believe that fits.
I have spent too many years feeling as though I lacked an acceptable faith.
While I have never lacked a belief in God, or a relationship with Him, I struggled with thinking that because I never found an organized religion who's rules worked for me, my way was not "good enough".
I think I have gone over that mountain now-- I accept that what I believe is okay. Better than okay; it is perfect for me. Especially now that I feel good about it (and myself) from the inside.
I fully acknowledge that I am a student of spirit, and do not have all the answers, in fact I am on a quest for understanding....by definition a quest, is a search or pursuit made to find or obtain something. And as I grow in spirit and strength, I still feel the need as I have since I can remember -- to watch what I say, to choose my language carefully so that others do not judge me. I know I am not the only one.
Lately I have found more and more like-minded souls who share in the belief that we are all on our own journey and we must embrace what works for us, or we won't grow. Yet I wonder when I will have the courage to fully let go of what others think of me and my beliefs, and let my light shine bright. To be able to finally stand tall in the face of judgment from those who consider my "woo woo" beliefs too different from their long held beliefs to be comfortable with me.
My whole life of growing up in GR has been like that when it comes to organized faith. If it wasn't "their way", it was wrong. I was wrong. Excluded. Not good enough.
I no longer believe that rules get you to God. Faith does. Believing in yourself first and then something greater than you does.
Don't judge; be curious. Don't compare; remain open. That is my plan.
No one has all the answers, and if they think they do, well that is another story entirely.
I'm on a spiritual quest. I am happier than I have ever been. I am more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. And I am confident those who truly love me right now, will love any changes I make in myself along the way.