I was asked recently for advice about bringing your significant other home for the holidays for the first time. It got me thinking about what it will be like someday when one of my kids brings home someone new. Here's my "take" from a mother's perspective.
Okay, so you are bringing your (insert) boy or girl friend home for the holidays.
I’ve known this day would come. A day when you branched out on your own, and brought someone new into our holiday celebration.
I’ve known it would happen, but that doesn’t mean I am ready to accept it. Not yet.
I, once again, should have prepared myself better.
I’m scared. What if I don’t like him/her? What if I see something totally different in them than you do? What if I think this person is not a good fit? What if I am looking for flaws… and I find them? What then? How am I supposed to handle that? How am I supposed to be a good hostess if my heart isn’t in it?
You see, I want someone to be perfect for you. To love you like no other, to treat you with respect, to bring out all your good qualities and to equally accept your bad. I want someone who believes in the same things that you do, heck the same things our family does, and who inspires you to be a better person for yourself first, and then for them.
And can I just say that I really want to like this person?
The truth is, and I know this, it is out of my control. It doesn’t matter if I don’t like them, or they don’t like me. This is about you. This is about what makes you happy.
So the best advice I can give you is this: when you bring this important person home to meet your family, and me, make sure it is really worth my time. Show me that you have done a little homework, and thought this through. Convince me with your attitude and actions that this person is someone who deserves to be here. That this isn’t some person you just met, some fledgling romance. Make me see why this person is special to you.
If you do that, you are more than halfway to convincing me that this will be okay. That the holidays with someone new in the mix, can be just as comfortable as the one’s of old----and maybe, just maybe, even a little bit more special seen through the eyes of someone new.