I thought I would be there by now. I'm not.
Instead I find myself like a kid in a candy store. So excited to try everything new that comes into view. I am dizzy with the love of learning. I find myself energized to learn more about anything and everything that interests me. (Even stuff I didn't think even interested me before.) I have read so many books, listened to stacks of books on tape, and my subject matter is so varied I'm pretty sure the people at the library think I am a little nuts. (Hooray for library books being free to check out).
I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't been allowed, or allowed myself this opportunity to just "be" for a while, to take the time to figure myself out -- especially now that I can see clearly how much I needed it.
Lately I have been able to use what I have learned to help others in need of figuring themselves out. What a fantastic feeling!
If not for the "little" detail of having to contribute money into our bank account sometime soon, all would be at peace in me. I love using what I know to encourage, motivate and help others move forward. You know that question that people ask: What would you do for FREE because you love it? That is what I would do for free: help people understand themselves and give them strategies to help them move forward. It is what I love to do. It is what makes me feel like I make a difference.
In the past 5 months I have learned so much about myself. And it has helped me understand others so much better.
I've learned about Strength. Shame. Fears. Purpose. Passion. Energy. Love. Surrender. Serendipity. Trust. Natural talents. Positivity. Happiness. And Joy.
Once I took the first step forward to begin facing a few of my longtime fears, it helped me realize that what I needed to do most-- was let go. To stop wasting so much energy trying to take control of things that were clearly not for me to worry about. Once I started letting go of the control, and began slowing my life down, I was able to see what it is that I do best (and easily).
I am at heart a coach and facilitator, an educator and a mentor, a catalyst for forward motion and growth.
I believe I have now found my "sweet spot".
For a long time I ignored that I had a sweet spot because I could not see how it would help me find that next job/that encore career. I focused instead on all the skills a resume screams for, and I failed to acknowledge that I have a talent for understanding people, for asking questions that open them up to new ways of thinking, and for helping them learn to help themselves.
It has always been easy for me to champion the potential of others, now I need to learn to believe in me.
You see even after discovering what my "element" was, I slowed my own forward progress because I listened to the dark voice inside that convinced me I was not good enough, or that I needed a different college degree to prove my worth, or that I couldn't possibly go into business doing what I love to do and being successful at it.
And yet, here I am. Poised to move in the direction of my dreams. That vision board of 4 years ago is finally making sense....
Ironic that in trying to figure out what I wanted to "do" next, what I want to "be" when I grew up, I discovered something even greater. I discovered who I really am at the core.
I am not at the place I thought I would be by now.
Instead... I'm in an even better place. Comfortable in my own skin, for maybe the first time ever.
Question of the Week #26 / When was the last time you did something for the first time?