Okay so it has been several months since I blogged anything. Not because I haven't thought about it, or because I haven't had time to, or haven't wanted to...but, because I am scared to. Too. Much. Emotion. And too much to say.
Alec graduated from high school. Alec is leaving for MSU. Alec doesn't need me anymore. Life will never be the same. How does that make me feel? Sad. Scared. Excited for him. Lonely. And very, very emotional. I am sitting at my desk with tears on my cheeks as I write this. (See, I knew it would be too hard). I have to walk away already and I only typed 5 lines so far.
Okay so where did that time go? How is my baby going off to college already...wasn't I just wearing those awful maternity clothes and laughing because everyone said I looked like the big fig newton? Wow. It feels like life went by so fast, like in a blink of an eye. I was there, wasn't I? I was there for it all, right? I enjoyed it, right? Okay, maybe I want it back. Maybe I want a "do over" or maybe it should be a "do again". Why is it that once you get through something it is so much easier to look back and think how you could have done it better?