As I listened to the rain falling on the cottage roof last night at 3 am, I recalled a recent conversation with a friend. Actually several different conversations came to mind all at once because that seems to be the way my mind works.

For a moment I felt a tensing in my belly -- the spot I carry my worry -- and then just as gently as the falling rain, I let it go. I realized it was not my worry to carry. No good would come from me taking that on.

Just a few short years ago I would have allowed those conversations and the pain my friends were in to take up residence within my belly, right along with my own list of things I worried about. After laying there in the dark visualizing all the worry filled possibilities to the things on my mind, I would have eventually fallen asleep with my stomach clenched and awoke again with it still clenched, never even realizing I had allowed it to become a part of me. 

Now, through yoga and mindfulness, I have tuned into my body well enough to know when something foreign is attempting to work its way in, or when something out of my control is looking for a place to land. Thankfully I am now able to let go of what is not mine to carry. And once I do, I am at peace within my body again, and my mind is able to concentrate positively on what is right there in front of me.

The sweet sound of the rain on the roof brings me back to this present moment and I send up a grateful prayer for being safe, warm and dry on this night and then waves of appreciation begin to roll in for all that I have, and all that I am. I am thankful for this cottage and its special ability to make the world go away when I arrive here, the snoringly beautiful man beside me who chooses to love me no matter how many curve balls I throw at him, the little angel sleeping in the pack and play in the next room who I am honored to be able to help raise and call granddaughter. The list begins right there and goes on to include health and well wishes for my children who are not currently under this roof but who I pray are just as safe, for my friends who are struggling with their unique issues, for members of my family, etc.

Once I would have "worried" myself totally awake and into a racing state of mind. This time however, I am not worrying, I am at peace. I have learned to turn around/fend off "worry" into positive thoughts.  I send love, light, happiness, strength, clarity, forgiveness, peace -- whatever is needed out in big beautiful waves from my heart. I used to carry so many struggles within me (as if I had the power to do something about them). It got me one big ugly ulcer and a negativity I never want to hold inside again and did nothing helpful for the people I took them from.

Now instead of focusing on the negative, I send a shot of positive to all who need it and let the clench go, knowing this is how I keep the best version of me centered in peace. This is how I show up in their lives as a light, as a calm, positive, loving light. Or on my best days, maybe even as an inspiration.

The rain works its way back into my consciousness and I smile. Happy and content that I am where I am. Safe, loved, thankful and ready for what curve balls life throws at me next.
 

I’ve been thinking for a while about what I wanted to say in this post. And not just because it is Thanksgiving. What I have to say applies to the other 364 days of the year as well.

Dear amazingly talented beautiful-hearted women in my life:

I hesitate to tell you exactly how much you have shaped me the past couple of years because I am afraid that you will think I brought nothing to the table of our friendship.

Yet if I just say thank you, how can you even begin to know how deep my gratitude goes?

The thank you I am talking about is a thank you from the bottom of my heart (and soul). Because in many ways, you saved me.

You played a huge part in helping me find myself again. In so many little every day ways you showed me by your example how I could feel better in my body, be happier, and live freer. Your unique stories have opened my heart and inspired me to take risks that I might not have dared to before. You have helped me understand that I am not the island I once felt I was.

I am part of a tribe of strong, talented, uniquely inspiring women.

We are different; but we are so much the same.

From that common ground I not only have become wiser about understanding you, but also wiser about understanding myself.

I realize that your fears are also my fears.

Of not being enough. Of not being good enough. Of not being worthy.

I recognize that your sincere wishes are also my sincere wishes. To be appreciated for our talents, and not defined by our weaknesses. To feel our contributions have meaning and that our efforts at making the world a better place are both noticed and appreciated.

We wish to be free of the junk that weighs us down.

We desire to be loved and cherished for exactly who we are, even as we morph and grow.

We aspire to be the person we were always meant to be.

We need to believe that we are worthy of living the life of our dreams.

We deserve to be cherished, respected and loved by those that matter most.

Thank you women in my life for also standing up to show me the error of my ways.

For being my mirror. For reflecting back to me all those parts of me I was scared to see.  And shining a light on all your unique qualities that I hope to someday call mine.

For helping me see I was more than I thought I was. And more than I thought I ever could be.

Thank you for using your light to shine a path for me.

For patiently believing in me, even when I did not believe in myself.

For gently redirecting me when I veered off course.

For supporting all my crazy ideas.

And for doing everything you could to encourage me to continue to find my path and follow my heart.

Thank you for taking the lead when I had lost my way and for graciously letting me lead when I needed to believe I could.

For not judging me when I may have jumped to judge others.

For loving me when I didn’t love myself.

For showing me that bending does not mean breaking.

And for explaining that asking for help is a gift to those who love you most.

Thank you for your grace in making me feel that my talent is no less valuable than yours.  And for your empathy, compassion & understanding.

And most especially for calling me bad ass when I felt shaky about my own power.

Women in my life you are all glorious beacons of light and hope, not only for me, but for generations of women to come.

I admire your courage, I honor your truth. And I will never take you for granted. I am not only thankful for you, I LOVE you.

From the bottom of my heart I wish you all a Peace + Gratitude filled Thanksgiving.

--Namaste

Our thoughts are powerful.

Both what we think and how we think affects our attitudes, our energy and our ability to be thankful and happy. If we are stressed or unhappy, it can influence our jobs, our parenting, our relationships, or pretty much any area of our lives. Without even being aware of it, we attract negative energy. (And being in a funk can make it hard to feel thankful or grateful for anything.)

I know, I've been there.

So this week's question is: Do you have a grateful heart? If yes, make a list of the things you are grateful for. If no, maybe you need to make some changes.

At one point in my own transformation I could not find much to be thankful for. How sad is that? I look back at that time in my life and realize that I was in a big funk and could not appreciate all that I had.

Here are some entries into my gratefulness journal that got me started thinking positively.

I am thankful for:

A warm house.

A safe journey home for everyone.

A clean(ish) house.

A loving and patient husband.

Being able to stand up for myself at work without getting emotional.

A family who loves and supports me.

Children who challenge me.

Sisters. Friends. My yoga community.

Options. Choices.

Energy to set a goal and accomplish it.

I am so happy to have moved past that bleak time in my life when I could find little to be grateful for. I now appreciate the little things, the big things, and everything in between. I learned that we all have the ability to control how we react to the situation(s) in our lives. And we can choose to be grateful.

In answering the Question of the Week, if you find little to put on your gratefulness list, maybe something is not aligned properly in your life.

Here are some ideas to get you started on a path to appreciation.

1. Keep a spiritual journal -- write down when you experience special moments or meet inspirational people.

2. Share your gratitude with others --sometimes it helps you appreciate things more when you say them out loud to another person.

3. Create a morning or evening gratitude ritual of recording your thoughts. Choosing a time of day and staying consistent with that makes you look forward to that time to think and reflect.

4. Ask others what they're grateful for. Read blogs, ask friends or coworkers, or read a motivational book. Find a way to learn from others.

5. Use a gratitude token (a rock,) a charm-- or something, that you can keep with you and randomly encounter throughout the day to remind you to be thankful.

Gratitude is a spiritual, emotional and mental practice. Practice gratitude slowly, and watch it grow.