Lately I’ve been contemplating how we see ourselves versus how others view us, and wondering how well they align?

In the past I have compared myself to others, in one might say an unflatteringly critical way. Over the last several years of learning who I am, and learning to practice more self-compassion, I think today’s assessment of myself is both accurate and honest. Let me try to paint a picture of myself with the words I would use to describe myself: homebody, creative, kind, efficient, intuitive, sensitive, balanced, curious, free.

If I asked you to choose the words that define you, do you instantly know what ones you would choose? I realize we are always evolving, changing and growing into our best and truest selves, and the descriptors can change based on what phase of life we are in. Yet, I also believe, we can spend the time and effort to dig down to our authentic self and the words we find there will describe our truest self at any age.

After my assessment of myself, I asked some close family members to choose words that describe me and they said: outgoing, fun, caring, inquisitive, detailed, social, and hot bitch (well, I think that was just my brother-in-law teasing me).

It was interesting to note I see myself as much more introverted than I used to be, and than they do. Outgoing is not a word I would select to describe myself, especially since I stopped trying to be a people pleaser. I am not shy, nor was I ever, but I also am not outgoing in an I want to be the center of attention way. If I had to narrow it down to three words that describe me best, I would choose: curious, intutitive, homebody. I like to think that I am also very much in balance, which is not to say I don’t teeter totter in either direction of the spectrum sometimes, but overall I would say I am most myself when I am in balance.

Lest you think the word homebody is a descriptor to be used in a derogatory way, here is the definition. A homebody is a person who enjoys being at home and doing activities that center around the home. While homebodies do go out with friends and travel, their preference is staying at home, often alone or with close family. That preference part is important. A homebody chooses to stay at home, or in my case I prefer to be in one of my safe places; my home, my cottage, my sister’s cottage, my old family cabin, out in the sun, out in nature, with the trees (anywhere) or near water.

Sometimes homebody is applied to people with a mental illness, like agoraphobia, or a physical disability that keeps them at home, but that would be an inaccurate use of the word. If a disability keeps someone at home most of the time when they’d rather be traveling the world, for example, they are not a homebody.

I have come to realize I prefer to experience, appreciate and enjoy life very simply. From the comfort of my safe spaces. Despite years of feeling pressure from well meaning friends and family to be different than I am, to travel, to go out to eat, to attend concerts or birthday parties; I have learned I operate best when I honor my need to stay close to home.

There is no shame in being who you are. Homebody or world traveler, life goes by really fast; make sure you live it your way.

I’ve been diligently working on choosing the three words that will shape my 2024, and they once again have landed far from where they began. This end of year practice is part reflection, part envisioning the future, and part tapping into what makes you happy. When I walked away from all that was secure and expected of me in 2013, I literally opened my heart and followed its direction to reclaim my happiness. In that process I allowed myself to unbecome the me I no longer wished to be and grow into the me I was always meant to be.

This year I wanted to make sure I did not select words that I thought I “should” choose, rather, I wanted words that would continue to cull out more of my ideal life.

This will be the 12th year I have chosen Three Words to Live By to give loose direction to the new year ahead, instead of making specific resolutions or setting goals. I credit this practice for all the authentic forward motion that has occured in my life. ♥

I’ve landed on the following three words for 2024. Need any help with choosing yours?

Poise:

• a dignified, self confident manner, steadiness

• a state of balance or equilibrium

• wavering between rest and motion

• balanced and prepared for action

Ease:

• freedom from discomfort, worry, anxiety, difficulty, great effort, financial need, stiffness, constraint

• rest, leisure, or relaxation

• to make or become less burdensome

• to make comfortable or give rest to

• to move or shift with great care

Ease(ful): comfortable, quiet, peaceful, restful

Delight:

• a high degree of *pleasure or enjoyment

• joy

• rapture

*pleasure: enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking

Just for fun here are all the words I used over the last 12 years.

2013 Simplify | Linger | Appreciate

2014 Clarify | Cultivate | Savor

2015 Freedom | Growth | Joy

2016 Express | Embrace | Create

2017 Illuminate | Trust | Thrive

2018 Foster | Expand | Dare

2019 Connection | Direction | Focus

2020 Adventure | Unleash | Thrive

2021 Radiate | Kindle | Embrace

2022 Nourish | Flow | Receive

2023 Confidence| Synergy | Reach

Photo credit: Jan Hubert

On the back cover of my book I allude to fighting my way out of the darkness, and every so often someone asks me what I meant by that. It is usually people who know me well, and have noticed that I am happier than I used to be, but go no further into questioning how I got there. Here is my best explanation of the journey I have been on to find my light.

When the boat of security she lived in first began to pitch wildly in the waves of her deepest, darkest truths, she felt a fissure of fear.

Even before her boat capsized, she understood she would drown.

In a sea of salty tears.

They came from somewhere deep. Somewhere foreign feeling.

A place she hadn't dared to go for a very long time.

She let herself sink into the depths of her sadness for she was so tired of struggling.

Maybe, she thought, if she just rested for a moment or two, she'd muster the energy she needed to soldier on. She gave into the quiet, calm and sank even lower. She pictured herself in the eye of the storm allowing the millions of thoughts in her head to slowly empty, until there was only one.

I am a failure.

With a jolt her feet hit rock bottom. No where further down to go.

She just couldn't muster enough energy to fight that deepest, darkest thought any longer. Immediately she felt the bleakness of her wasted life in every pore of her body. The would have, could have, should have's stacking up before her to be reviewed. She knew she had let everyone down, had let herself down worst of all. She was so far off course she saw no more possible paths to take. Was this the fall she feared she'd never recover from?

In the darkness of her soul came the words she needed to hear.

Everything will be okay, everyone will be okay. Let it go. You've got this. And oh by the way, You are worthy.

Fresh tears flowed as she let the words surround her like a blanket. Only this time the tears weren't the same. They didn't hurt as much, they were softer, warmer, meant to soothe not sear.

And as they warmed her cheeks, they warmed her heart a little, too. She felt a little less alone. The tiniest spark of hope begin to grow in her.

At one time giving in, giving up the reins of her life had been the furthest thing from her mind. The thought of letting go had only made her hold on tighter, try harder, do better. Now she knew her only option was surrender, she no longer had the energy to fight against the current of her heart.

She took a deep breath and some of the tight spaces in her body began to give a little.

Instead of dying in this low, dark space, she realized she actually could breathe a little easier here. The crushing weight on her chest began to lift and in the far corner of her dark soul a spark of light began to grow. The light was warm and comforting and filled her mind, heart and whole being with a feeling of acceptance, understanding, and ease.

It felt so refreshingly beautiful she was afraid to acknowledge it, fearful it would retreat and pull her back into the darkness.

But it grew brighter until it nearly filled her, and then she heard the voice again:

Inside everyone is darkness and light. Good and bad. That is the way it is meant to be. A person cannot be 100% perfect. That means there will always be darkness within you. But there is also light. So much light. You are no different than anyone else. You, like everyone, must learn to live in the light of you. Once you do, your mission here is to show others how to do the same. Teach others to dance in the light. Their own light. To take back their power.

And then there was quiet again. She wanted (as usual) to ask a million questions. To learn what she needed to do to stay in this welcoming light.  She wanted to know how she could possibly teach others to find the light. She wanted help to do it all correctly, but no words came out of her. There was only the silence.

And in the blissful quiet of her soul she discovered she already knew the answer to her unasked questions.

I hold the power. I've had the power all along.

She was the answer. She had all the answers within. She always had. She needed only to believe in her own power, to be still and listen to hear the answers to her questions.  In that quiet, calm space deep within her was all the knowledge she'd ever truly needed.

And the words she heard this time were her own.

I see you darkness. I acknowledge you are part of me. I understand that within everyone is darkness, and also beautiful light. I have a choice from which place I operate and I vow to live from this moment on in the light. I surrender my grip of control to a higher power for I know that I cannot see the whole picture from my tiny view. I will trust that I am enough, imperfectly as I am, and that I am worthy of everything I dream of. I will allow my life to unfold and to believe in my own power to discern the correct path. I will let my heart lead me to where I was meant to be all along.

And just like that she was filled with light. She was back home to herself. The same girl, yet forever different. Changed. Enlightened. Recharged. Renewed. Ready. Free. Hopeful. Reconnected.

Choosing never to be alone again.

For more in this series:

Losing Her Magic

Finding Her Worth

Garnering Her Courage

Once I gave up the notion of happiness as a goal I needed to achieve, it was easier to find it.

I had, until my 50th year, resisted the natural flow of life and tried to chart my own course. I always had a plan. I always knew where I was going. I believed I had control.

Until I got where I was supposed to go and didn’t want to be there.

The years in-between then and now (just over 10 by the calendar), I have spent unlearning all my bad habits. While I still feel more comfortable with a loose plan, my life no longer revolves around making sure everything goes according to it. Things are a lot less structured and those once concrete goals I had, are better defined now as dreams.

Calling them dreams seems less daunting than setting goals, and I don’t feel the pressure to have to get them done. I never want to return to a life with a to do list that stretches a mile long. Since I crave freedom, I’ve taken to the practice of writing down one or two things that have to get done each day. And then I figure the rest will present itself as a top priorities on another day if they really need to get done.

When the voice inside of me tries to compare me to others, or to compare me to a younger version of me, I must gently quiet her. Today, this moment, is the only day I have that is guaranteed so, I need to live it. If I want french fries, a glass of wine, a nap, or to binge watch something on tv, I need to give myself permission. If it makes me happy and harms no one, I deserve it.

I used to stress about my material possessions, not wrecking my good towels, keeping my furniture in great condition, or keeping my nice clothes “nice”. Now I buy most of my clothes at goodwill and consider the scratches on my tables signs that life happened while seated around it. Scratches like scars, show a life well-lived.

I now trust that the Universe, God, has a plan for me and my job is not to know what it is, but to live as my true self and watch it all unfold.

When I feel myself grasping for a sense of control, I breathe deeply and remind myself that my job is simply to be happy. To be aware and open. To love fully without conditions, to trust all will be provided when I need it (including understanding) and to have the courage to be my full self without fear that others will turn away. And to accept that if they do, it is also okay. Not everyone is in my life to stay.

When things inevitably get tough, I pause to look at the situation from all sides, feel my way into my emotions, find the positives and uncover the lessons within the struggle. And then I peer a little deeper into it and ask if this lesson has been brought to my attention before. Am I repeating lessons? Am I being challenged? Have I learned the lesson yet and can I now let it go?

An underlying unease about not getting my fair share in life used to reside within me but has been replaced with the comforting thought there is enough for all. Scarcity is not an issue. The right people will be attracted to me, and I will be attracted to the right people. I will make the right decisions at the right times and do not need to ruminate on what if I had chosen differently.

All is well. All is happening as it should.

I have seen what happens when I cling to the wrong people or try to control situations or attempt to have all the answers. Some things aren’t supposed to be completely understood; just observed, acknowledged, and let go.

I let go my need for control and embrace life in all the little and big moments.

Instead of following a detailed life plan, I now have only one goal and that is to grow into the best human I can be.

I want to spread kindness and empower others to live life as their true selves.

I wish to lead by example, never asking others to do what I have not yet done or tried.

When I leave this life, I want to be proud of the person I was. It used to be that I looked outside myself for the affirmation that I was a good person, but I have since learned the kind of affirmation I really need is from within. Quieting my mean voice has given me so much more open space in my head to learn new things, explore the unknowns, and accept myself.

I appreciate each moment.

Each connection.

My eyes are wide open for the next lesson, not the next step.

Sharing my thoughts in a new way, I guess you call this vlogging? I’ve got things to say and the more I do this with my voice rather than my written words, the more comfortable I become being me. I appreciate all those who join me along the journey. ♥

We all have been blind sighted by someone we trusted. This post was saved in my blog’s drafts from years ago and although I do not remember the specifics of who it was about, I can take a guess. It doesn’t matter anyway because what I learned from this situation is the important part to share. Here is my original draft:

Being told I am the reason for someone else's funk is not something I am used to hearing. I am usually the one who helps people out of that kind of mess. To be told that you are the cause of someone else's dissatisfaction with their life is very difficult to hear. It jolted me from my normal peaceful balance into my overthinking/defensive mode. My husband would suggest I immediately let it go, as he has no problem shutting himself off from what he perceives to be someone else’s deal. Yet me being a highly sensitive person with a perfectionistic streak, wants to think it through to make certain it was not my fault. Okay correction, who am I kidding, I’d really like to prove I did nothing wrong and that I was beyond reproach. However, as is often the case upon reflection, I see where I could have done better, where my actions could have contributed to the problem, and as a result, I have a hard time letting it go.

After you realize you have done wrong, admitting it, apologizing and doing what you can to rectify the situation immediately is what comes next. I did that. I owned up, even though that is so hard for me. I apologized immediately. I offered up suggestions to improve the situation and I followed through on those involving me.

I was willing to be vulnerable and admit I made a mistake.

That said, I am NOT going to walk around with my tail between my legs waiting for a crumb, a small sign that I am forgiven. Heck I didn't even know that there was an issue brewing under the surface, and next time please let me in on my mistake sooner. Before I am the sole cause of all your angst.

For far too long I lived with constant stress in my body, always afraid I would let someone down if I didn’t do everything right, if I wasn’t “perfect”. It nearly ruined me. Now I operate on the principal of doing my best in every moment, knowing it is human and natural to mess up. I vowed never to live bound by the expectations of trying to make others happy. So after carrying the crap of this situation around with me for nearly a week, I am finally letting it go. As I would instruct anyone else to have done immediately.

This is actually your issue. Your problem. Your situation to fix. I am cutting my ties to it, and letting it go.

I took a walk and asked for help to release this from my field. Putting up a mirror immediately popped into my head and proved to be a quick and effective fix as I felt lighter right away. It gave me room for clarity. I realized it is not my responsibility to make you happy. And you cannot project your unhappiness onto me and make it my fault. Well you can, but only if I willingly let you. And, I do not.

So I am sending you love and putting up my mirror so that what you are negatively sending my way reflects right back to you. I am surprised it took me this many days to see that this is what was needed. I trust you will figure it out on your own time, in the meantime I am staying in balance —taking on only what is mine to claim.

I will let this go and take back my power by sending you love.

Happy New Year Greetings!

The end of a year always allows me a chance for retrospection and then with that, the opportunity to loosely shape the new year to come. While we cannot plan out our year, nor see the obstacles or the joys coming our way, we can set the parameters for the direction we’d like it to move. All year long I wrote down words in my daily journal that felt right to consider for the selection process. None of those actually ended up being one of my Three words for 2023, but the process helped me narrow my list. After much internal debate I have arrived at the three words I need to shape my new year.

Confidence- full trust, belief in the powers, belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; certitude

Synergy- the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual contributions

Reach- to get to or get as far as in moving, going, traveling; to come to or arrive at in some course of progress, action; (v)to make a stretch; (n)the extent or distance of reaching

In a nutshell: I wish to move forward with confidence in my writing abilities and in myself, to put all the parts of myself together into a whole that makes a greater impact, and to trust that my words, my book (and my girls) will fly as far and wide as they are meant to.

I considered so many other words that felt right to maintain this life I love and do not need a vacation from. Words like streamline, peace, and health, and yet to truly grow, I feel the need to stretch myself. I chose my words for 2023 with the hope I will continue to find joy and peace in every day, and yet still be brave enough to share more of my true self.

If you want help finalizing your words, or understanding more about the three word process, please reach out.

Cheers to a strong & successful 2023. ♥

Purpose isn’t discovered, but revealed and remembered. Our purpose is to reveal ourselves, then radiate that to the world. By recognizing and honoring our true self, and showing up in the world as such, we have fulfilled our soul’s purpose. Our life’s purpose then, is to ensure this true self arrives in each moment it is needed.

—Helen Jacobs, You Already Know

Time marches on and today I turn a number that once seemed soooo impossibly far away; 60. I am doing my best to embrace this new decade, as I did the last, because there is so much to be thankful for and to look forward to. My 50’s were the best years ever (yes there were hard times, disappointments, and unexpected things, but there was also a lot of growth, love and joy). I was able to slow my life down and focus on what was important to me, while remaining present and grateful for how much abundance I have in my life. As I move into my 60’s, I plan to roll with the changes in my body, embrace and operate from my strengths, practice self-compassion when I make mistakes, and allow life to unfold in its own way & time. It has taken me a long time to let go of the need to prove myself, to accomplish in order to feel worthy, and to accept and honor who I truly am. There are plans in place to publish a couple books, to nest (fixing up my cottage and home), to teach what I have learned, and to impact the world around me in a positive way. As I continue to live a life I do not need a vacation from, I will keep the pace slow, leave freedom in my schedule, and enjoy a richly vibrant existence connecting with friends, family and my love.

Cheers to my continued growth. May I be able to maintain an open and peace filled mind and heart, and greet the inevitable changes with grace. As you know I meditate in nature often, and as I recently sat in my thinking spot contemplating my upcoming birthday, I channeled this message:

Concentrate on the right now and in what ways can you be more—and let that lead to your next step—stay focused on the present (and what you actually can control) and let it all unfold. You wish to be “more” and spend time dreaming about why and how you might do that, when in reality your power is right here in this moment. Stop dreaming about it and do it. You are the only thing holding you back. Your forward motion is being thwarted by your lack of focus and priority on yourself. Stop furthering the dreams of others, and making their life easier, pave the way for your success and invest the effort in your own growth. Begin now. ♥

I learn something new everyday. A few months ago it was about the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion. They are far from the same. I randomly watched a Ted Talk from Kristin Neff and it rang my bell. I’ve been on a long journey to find myself—nearly 15 years now—and apparently the one thing I am still missing is self-compassion. View her talk at https://youtu.be/IvtZBUSplr4.

When I began the deep dive into figuring out who I really was, what made me happy, and what I wanted to be when I grew up, I had no compassion for anyone. I was an empty shell of a person, as over time I had let my power go in many small and big ways. What was left within was the sludge of shame, guilt and unworthiness I’d held close to continually remind me of how I never measured up.

Years of working on myself, digging deeper, trying holistic healing techniques, reading about other people’s journeys, and letting go of most of my wrongly held beliefs did bring me to a place of being able to offer compassion for others, but not yet for myself. I hold myself to a high standard, far higher than I would expect anyone else to achieve, and that is my roadblock to the fulfillment I seek.

These expectations keep me feeling like I am never enough, not good enough and not worthy of my dreams or my happiness. Is moving forward really as simple as giving myself grace? I’d tell you it is, and yet from my own experience still know how hard it is to do that. The good news is: with this knowledge I can begin right now to let go of the silent but deadly expectations I hold for myself to be perfect, and make room for grace.

I have realized as I journal out my daily thoughts, that no matter how hard I try, in the end I can only be me, and sometimes this means I will make mistakes and I will fail. As an imperfect being, I can only share the wisdom I’ve gained through my own life experiences thus far. This blog, renamed Terri’s Take, shares my perspective, and my unique view from where I am. I plan to share digestible pieces of wisdom as I continue to process and grow into my authentic self. I will never expect anyone else to see things exactly as I do, but if sharing my stories helps you move forward on your journey, I am honored to be a light on your path.

And in case you were wondering, along the way, I figured out who I wanted to be when I grew up: me.

Here is one person’s story about how a recent reiki session affected her. Several things to note: she wasn’t finding relief anywhere else, she was open minded about trying something new, she had no expectations, and she surrendered to letting it work for her highest good.

Annie’s story:

About three and a half months ago, I went to sit down in my car and my life was never the same. I immediately had shooting pains starting in my lower back that shot down to my foot. I could not bend over, I could not sit comfortably, I could not even lay down without feeling pain.

After about two weeks I was able to get into a doctor and have x-rays taken. Before reviewing the results, I was told that I was most likely experiencing sciatica. After seeing my x-rays I learned it was much more. He put up the picture and began to explain, “I understand that you are having sciatic pain, and we will treat you to help with that, BUT…”.

My heart sank. “Why is there a but?”.

He continued, “you have a mild to severe case of scoliosis and your neck has almost no curve to it.” He continued to explain that these issues have helped to create the sciatic pain I was feeling. We created a treatment plan that involved me going twice a week for three months. After a few visits, my sciatic pain had slowly been decreasing but now I was experiencing intense pains in my head, neck, and back. I cannot even begin to describe the amount of pain I was in every day. My days consisted of trying to stretch, Tylenol, lidocaine cream, heat pads, baths, and endless tears.

At twenty-six years old, I began to picture my “new future”. Not the one that involved exploring nature, playing yard games with my friends, giving my niece piggyback rides or chasing her around the living room, riding bikes, swimming, singing, traveling or even dancing the night away at my wedding in just six short months – The new future I saw unfolding was terrifying. Am I going to be able to dance at my own wedding, or even walk down the aisle without being in pain? Is my fiancé going to want me still? After all this is not what he had signed up for at such a young age. Am I going to be able to hang out with my friends again?

I had started training myself to accept that the answer to all these questions was “No”. My life was forever going to be this way and I needed to accept it and move on. It’s worth noting that I have also struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for about ten years. These obstacles certainly didn’t help my mindset.

After sharing my thoughts with family, I was introduced to the idea of a Reiki session. I had heard some things about it, and I was honestly willing to try anything to make me feel better. The day of my session I was in a terrible mood. Sad, in pain, and part of me wanted to cancel.

Terri had created a whole environment in her house. When you walk into her home, you’re immediately filled with peace. She had a small conversation with me before we began, and she asked if there were any questions I had. She offered a definition of what Reiki was and how she would be performing it. She explained to me what my role was- to breathe. During the beginning of the session, I was unable to turn my thoughts off, but I kept breathing. Before I knew it, we had finished. Terri got me water and a blanket as we sat down to talk about the session. She told me what she saw and felt, which chakras were blocked, and what this all meant.

Going over the results of this session was weird. It gave words and descriptions to all the feelings I had been experiencing. It had seemed so obvious, yet I was never able to view it like this before. She had informed me that she had cut a tie that I had been holding on to for a long time. I am not going into too much detail as some of these things were extremely personal matters. We went over some helpful tools that I can use along my journey.

After I was done, I got in the car. My fiancé looked at me as thought I had just undergone an extreme makeover, so I asked him, “What?”, with a big smile on my face. He replied, “you just look different, you look happy.”

Reiki did not immediately take away all my physical pain. What I think a lot of us humans fail to recognize is how essential our mental health is to our physical health. When we feel bad on the inside, eventually it will be reflected on the outside, and vise versa. Being aware of the energy we possess and how it can affect us and the people around us is incredible. I think its also important to share that the work does not end with the session. You are responsible for looking deep inside yourself to fix what was once broken. Reiki does set you up for success in that it provides you with most of the tools you will need.

Reiki did help improve my mental health which in return did help my physical health. What I’m dealing with, physically, is a skeletal issue and will require a form of physical treatments. But what I deal with mentally impacts that physical aspect. After visiting Terri, my outlook has changed drastically, and my pain HAS been reduced. Not only that, but now I have a new outlook on life and a set of tools in my belt to continue to help myself.

Terri is truly talented. She is gifted with the ability to read this energy and how to interpret it. I was shocked to learn that I had been holding onto negative energy from my teenage years and even from my childhood years. I am thankful to have had this experience with her when I did. I would highly recommend Reiki with Terri. It is never too early, or too late, to learn about your emotions, your energy, and how to maintain your inner peace and happiness.  

I spent the better part of my nearly 60 years living as a control freak; “doing” instead of being, “taking charge” instead of allowing life to unfold, and always trying to “prove” to others I was valuable instead of trusting they would appreciate me for who I was.

So, let’s just say, I have been pretty closed off to receiving for most of my life. By that I mean, I was not able to handle abundance coming to me in any way: accolades, gifts, or even expressions of kindness. Harboring an inner “I am not worthy or good enough” belief, I let my inner critic shut me off from receiving with grace. Often the voice in my head would say things like: “You could have done it better”, “Why didn’t you get a gift for them”, or “Now you owe them”. It took away my happiness in receiving, added in expectations, and dimmed the other person’s joy of giving.

This seems extra crazy as I look back now, because I express my love by giving to people in various ways. Maybe not by giving physical gifts, but in other ways; like fixing homecooked meals with their favorite ingredients, including them in invitations to parties or get togethers, sharing what I have learned, creating safe spaces for people to relax and be comfortable, and by listening and affirming that I really “see” them.

It feels so good when someone accepts and receives my kindness, without expectation of a return favor, and I realize how many times I sabotaged the opportunities to accept kindness throughout the years.

Receive is one of my words to live by in 2022, and so far it has been a wondrous thing. This morning I received an Instagram post from a new yoga student and she expressed her appreciation for my style of teaching. I believe, this form of kindness where people reach out to say what they feel, is the path forward to healing ourselves and our corners of the world. I know how good it feels when people reach out to say thankyou, or tell me my class was just the right thing, or whatever it is, and I can only imagine it also feels good on their end to share it.

By expressing ourselves freely and truthfully, in each moment, by spreading our own version of light and love into the world, we shine. And when we shine, we lift not only our vibration, but the vibration of others, and the world around us.

The time is now, are you ready to receive? To invite in abundance? To shine? If the answer isn’t a resounding YES I AM, then start ditching those expectations, judgments, fears, or old beliefs which hold you back. You really can begin to let them go right now. Remember, you deserve abundance in any and every form, you are worthy, you are enough, and you are a gift.

Namaste.

Action Required to achieve your dreams. It starts NOW.

Last weekend during my meditation I was guided to do an exercise to help myself move forward in the direction of my dream of being an author. Many of us have dreams we carry in our hearts but hold back on pursuing, for a variety of reasons. Mostly, we talk ourselves out of them. In this post I am sharing both the process I was guided to use to become unstuck, and my own answers, which makes me feel very vulnerable. I hope in sharing my truth it will help someone release their own junk and get moving in the direction of their dreams, whatever those are.

Sit quietly with a piece of paper and a pen. Open yourself up to your deepest fears about whatever is weighing on your heart in regards to that thing you are not doing, but want to do, (your dream). Then write down those fears (no one ever needs to see them except you).

9/12/2021 Fears About Writing my Book

dying with the words still in me

not making a difference, not mattering

not fulfilling my purpose

running out of time

not having anything unique to say

not being a success at writing

not being good enough to call myself an author

not making an impact with my book

not being able to do it

doing it wrong, so I am afraid to start

taking the wrong path with my words

no one will read what I write

missing the point

criticism

ridicule

rejection

Now once those are released and out where you can read and acknowledge them, sit with them for a minute. Just breathe. How do they make you feel? In my case, I see they are holding me back from giving it my all, from trying, from starting.

The next step is to acknowledge you are holding your self back with those negative thoughts. You are self-sabotaging. Our thoughts have power, and until we begin to fuel our own self-esteem with positive thoughts, we will stay stuck/safe. Become your own best cheerleader and change those inner thoughts around. With your pen and paper, open yourself up to support from the universe, imagine all the words you need to hear are pouring into you. Write them down, without judgment or editing.

9/12/2021 Affirmations that support my dream of writing my book

I have something to say

My words will resonate

I am good enough

I can do this

I am an author

I know exactly where to begin

My story is worth telling

I can make a difference

I am open to receive direct support and guidance

I am ready

The time is now

It is my time to shine

Again, sit with your written affirmations, and reread them. How do they make you feel? Better? We hope so. Do this exercise whenever you need to acknowledge and release the things that hold you back. Change the negative thoughts to positive, and believe in yourself again, as we do. Do this over and over again, as needed.

I was then guided to write these words:

You cannot help others until you help yourself. Speak your truth, share your wisdom, and lead by example. The time is now. You can do this, surround yourself with those who believe in you—and begin within for that support. You are your own worst critic. You hold yourself back out of fear of failure. You can totally do this. Believe in the power of you. You will make a difference. Be your own best cheerleader and make the time & space to begin moving forward toward your dream. There is time, the time is now, stop distracting yourself by helping others reach for their dreams. It is your turn. Begin within. ♥

If you, like me, are a work-in-progress, this will be helpful whenever I am feeling stuck. I plan to reread my journal whenever I feel those negative, self-sabotaging thoughts about my writing creeping their way back in. And while I am still feeling supported and inspired, I will write.

Namaste.

“I realize that learning is a constant process, and I’m thankful for the lessons I learn every day. ”

I have a goal in my life and that is to live the rest of it being fully myself, without regret or holding back who I truly am. My hope is that by being fully myself, and sitting in my power, I will inspire others to do the same.

I have only been partially open about my spiritual journey for the last few years. I have shared my energy work, my personal coaching, my writings, and to some, my interest in all things seen & unseen (paranormal/metaphysical). But I haven’t taken off the last mask. I have been afraid to be vulnerable, but the time has come to rip off the band aid and own my true self.

I have devoted the last ten years of my life learning to be the best and most authentic version of myself. I am, and always will be, a work-in-progress. It doesn’t matter how much work on ourselves we do, there will always be more, and for me that is a relief. To me that means there is no end goal, no way to get it right (or wrong) and no finish line; there is only a continual wish to do my best and be my best. This notion allows me to give myself grace when I digress, fail, or hit a rough patch, and it gives me courage to keep learning my lessons.

On my website I “label” myself as a light worker*. I believe we all are made up of darkness, and light. The light is our God spark, our natural and pure goodness, and we have the power to choose to grow our light, or to live in the dark. I have accepted and confronted my own darkness, and will continue to intentionally grow my light. Does that mean I am beyond reproach, or always do the right thing? Heavens no, remember we are all a work in progress. I will do my absolute best to radiate my light within, by walking my talk, meaning what I say, and leading by example. I will give the world the best I have.

Over the last few years I have shared my belief that our true power lies within all of us. Our spark/connection to the divine (whatever higher power you believe in) is within us and ready to be accessed at all times. This means we have all the answers inside us, yet we aren’t always able to find them. Often we look outside of ourselves when we are feeling stuck, or at a crossroads, instead of clearing a path to hear our inner voice. This is where I feel my true talent is: truth telling to help people get unstuck.

Everyone is on their own unique journey and their own individual path. We aren’t meant to be alike, or to fit in, we are meant to be unique and to stand out. We are meant to shine. And the only way to do that is to be fully ourselves. My inward journey has led me from the controlling perfectionistic, judgmental person I was, to the person I was always meant to be. Having traversed a healing path, much through trial and error and mostly by myself, I now feel compelled to share what I have learned. I am still working out the specifics of how I will share it, a book or two maybe?

To remove my final mask, I need to share this:

My mission. My purpose is to guide people forward to their truest selves and to help people uncover what is keeping them stuck. In other words I help others learn to live in the light. I do this in several ways; physically teaching yoga and Groove dance, emotionally and energetically through my reiki sessions, and via spiritual readings using my mediumship to channel messages from your guides or others for your highest good.

Every day I keep my vibration as high as I can, filling myself with love and appreciation, radiating my unique light and making myself a vessel to channel the highest good for all. Yes I am psychic, we all are. Yes I am a medium and can channel spirit guides, so can you. Yes I believe in “life” after death, I know there is so much more our soul experiences after we cross over to the other side. And yes, I believe in a higher power, source, God, and it is 100% okay that it is not the same thing you believe. We are all unique remember, therefore our journey, our beliefs and our missions should also be unique.

I plan to take my abilities in this go round of life as far as I can. I will shine my light proudly and SO brightly it will help others out of their darkness. ♥

*https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/what-is-a-lightworker-and-what-do-they-do-exactly/

There comes a moment (or three) in the adventure of life we call parenting that sends you to your knees in prayer, that rocks you to your core and makes you question what you thought you knew. I know this, as it has happened to me. And it has also happened to friends and family around me.

The perfect kid is never perfect, nor should they even be set up to be so. It seems likely in our busy, noisy, overwhelming world, our children and grand children will face some kind of negative situation much earlier in their life than we did. Hitting rock bottom and experiencing a dark night of the soul is becoming more a part of growing up than I ever thought it would be. Many of us adults have hit our own rock bottoms, but usually later in life, and to me it feels like today's children are falling sooner. Our youths have so much more information available to them, too much sometimes, to be able to make a clear headed decision about their future.

As a parent, instead of fearing this rock bottom, and doing everything in our power to divert our children from facing it, perhaps we should instead expect it will someday happen and prepare ourselves. We will need to respond with love, not react in fear, when the day comes. Without a clear grasp on who we are authentically, it will be difficult to remain calm, grounded, and settled when it is needed most. Our children are unique and separate souls, not extensions of ourselves. They need to make their own choices (good or bad). We cannot direct their life, keep them safe from everything they face, or smooth the road before them. We have to remember they are their own person and are on their own journey. No one can learn a lesson for someone else.

The world today is wide open with possibilities, and so it seems are our children. We cannot expect them to do as we did, or to follow along as we learned to do. I have made many mistakes as a parent. My crippling expectations of myself, my own mean voice, hurt my children as well. How could I expect them to be the best versions of themselves if I wasn’t embracing my true self? If we are to support our children in the way they need, with unconditional love, we must love and accept ourselves first. That means we need to find time to work on ourselves, to heal our own wounds, to embrace our imperfect selves, to forgive our mistakes, and to be comfortable in our own skin, no matter how busy and distracting life is. For many years I was caught up in everything outside of me and I let my connection to my true self go. If your sensitive and intelligent kids are anything like mine, they will know when you aren’t being authentic and “walking your talk”, and that will muddy the waters between you even more.

As our children grow up our job as parents becomes less about keeping them safe and more about helping them find their true and unique selves. The world is ever changing and our belief systems, or what we have been taught by generations before us, will likely not resonate with this younger generation. We cannot expect them to do as we did, or to make the same decisions we did. How different would my decisions and my life be if I had had access to the different perspectives and loads of information that is now available at our kids’ fingertips? The course of my life was directed by what was expected of me, not by who I was or what I believed in. Our world isn’t like that anymore and we need to accept that. What helped my family heal was for me to become comfortable in my own skin, to be authentic to who I was at my core, and to start leading by example and walking my talk.

I am not proud of some of my own parenting decisions, but I have mostly forgiven myself for those mistakes. I am very grateful I had the courage to lead myself out of the mess I had become, to show my children that it is not only okay to fail, it is inevitable, and how we respond after that fall is what matters. Learning from our mistakes is part of the journey.

If your grip is too tight, if your days and nights are filled with worry, if your expectations are never met, you might be showing your little ones too much of the dark side of you. There is still time to transform into the authentic you, to live in your true light, and to be a beacon of hope for them in the darkest times. I believe if you find your true self and reconnect with your own home base, you will lead by example and become the safe haven your kids need most.  

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
LAO-TZU”

I am not sure I will ever completely shake my desire to fit in, make a good impression, be liked, or be acknowledged for my strengths. My people pleasing need runs deep, but I am making progress.

It has taken years to be able to be able to say no and not "worry" whether the person I just let down will be mad. In truth, if they are mad at me for setting and sticking to my boundaries, I’ve decided they really aren't friend material. Once I told someone "no" who was asking for my help (again) and as I attempted to justify my reasoning, they abruptly stopped me and said, you don't have to explain. But they didn't say it in a nice way, like "Oh, your reasons for saying no to my request are your reasons, I respect your decision." It was more like, "Oh, you are saying no to me, then we're done."

I seriously have not had any interaction with this person since I said no, which tells me I was being used. This has happened to me more than once. I realized that until I took the reins back, the power was going to remain outside of myself and in the hands of someone else.

If we stand true to who we are, it is impossible to be everything to everyone. We aren’t supposed to be liked by all. If we try to be, we end up losing ourselves. I know this, it happened to me. I got in so deep I tried to make a good impression on people who were never, ever going to see me for who I was, for what I brought to the table. I did not fit in their mold. I did not agree with them. I did not see it their way. And no amount of accomplishing was going to change anything. Does that sound exhausting? It was.

I know I have weaknesses. I hate math, I could care less about money—except to survive, and I am not good with remembering numbers or dates, like in history. I am not very patient, and I roll my eyes when I feel time is a wasting. Playing along with someone’s ego game, or following rules imposed by those who need to feel powerful (especially if the rules have no practical base or don’t represent a truthful perspective) makes me nutty in an anxious, impatient way. I dislike veiled criticisms, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior. And since I am human, I really don’t like hearing personal criticism, but I am continually working on that.

I live in, and respect, honesty, truth and fairness.

It has taken me a long time to realize that despite my weaknesses, I also have many strengths, and I make it a point to choose the people, activities, job opportunities, hobbies which utilize those unique strengths. I don’t try to shore up my weaknesses anymore, I let someone with the skill set I am lacking do that part for me. I concentrate on doing what I do easily, naturally, so I can shine. To let life flow with my strengths is so much less of an uphill struggle. Taking charge of my well-being means I needed to set some boundaries and let go of my deep need to be liked. It wasn’t easy to sift through years and layers of toxicity I created within myself, but it has totally been worth the effort. I am happier and more me right NOW, than I ever remember being.

At the end of the day, I continue to put forth my best efforts to walk my talk, live (and learn) by example, do the right thing, spread love, kindness and acceptance daily, and appreciate those who love and accept me for who I am, faults and all. I focus on shining my brightest light, and living life as the best version of me.

If you are still stuck in the need to please merry-go-round, stop, breathe, and give yourself permission to take back your power and make necessary changes. Yes, this will shake up your life, but isn’t that exactly what you need to bring in positive new energy? Allow yourself to start something new, or stop doing something you’ve discovered isn’t right for you, to let go of people and or things that no longer serve your highest good, to say NO, or to say YES, and to do what feels right from the inside out, despite what others may tell you to do. Take a step in the direction of your best life and watch the magic unfold.

I often try to mix up the way I ask my yogis at the beginning of a class to take their focus inward.

One of the things I sometimes ask is for people to tune into what makes them happy, to bring those visions or thoughts to mind, and to think about how they “feel/experience” that happiness in their bodies. For me, I feel warm, soft, positive and at ease when I fill myself with happy thoughts.

Why then does it seem most people have an easier time listing off the things that make them unhappy? I have a theory on this, I think focusing on what makes us unhappy is more of a surface/outward focus and revolves around things we feel are out of our control: traffic jams, tax increases, waiting in line after shopping to check out, injustice etc. The inward focus of thinking about what fuels our souls is harder and takes more effort, and requires us to acknowledge and make changes once we are aware. In other words, it requires us to do something more than just complain. While it is more work for us, it also gives us back our power and the end result of surrounding ourselves with what makes us happy and encourages the best version of ourselves, is ultimately worth it.

I will give you an example of one of my brain dumps and you will see how I am able to more clearly recognize the patterns I might have been missing.

What makes me happy?

Clean sheets

Clean counters

Feeling clean in my body

A clean house

An organized closet

A clean desk

(Is anyone else seeing a pattern here).

I like a clutter free, clean, organized life.

Let’s continue on…What else makes me happy?

Laughter.

Nothing on my ‘to do’ list.

A long weekend at the cottage.

Family game night.

Family dinners.

Grand baby time.

Cancelled plans that lead to a weekend in.

Getting the summer gang together for a shared dinner.

I am sensing another pattern here.

I crave simplicity and freedom. I am most happy at home (or at my cottage) having fun with the people I love.

What else makes me happy?

Helping others learn + grow.

Seeing people grasp a life lesson and grow from it.

Getting like minded people together to go deep in conversation.

Learning something new.

Sharing something I have learned.

Inspiring others take their power back.

I like to go deep, learn new things, and share what I have learned.

And more of what makes me happy?

Being myself.

Spreading kindness.

Dancing without fear of what others think.

Feeling physically strong and flexible.

Shining my light as brightly as I can.

Nature.

Trees.

Laying out in the sun.

Walking in quiet.

Meditating in nature.

Drawing faces. Making mandalas. Collecting rocks. Painting affirmations on rocks.

I value authenticity, quiet time, creativity, kindness, health, and nature.

My individual recipe to happiness is this:

I like a clutter free, clean, organized life. I crave simplicity and freedom. I am most happy at home (or at my cottage) having fun with the people I love. I like to go deep, learn new things, and share what I have learned. I value authenticity, quiet time, creativity, kindness, health, and nature.

Are you ready to figure out your own recipe to happiness? Start your own list, check for patterns, then go out and create a life filled with your version of happy. You deserve it! See the link below for a free downloadable worksheet to get you started digging in.

Of course I really don’t know the secret of life, but I have learned the hard way we make life more difficult than it has to be. To me, the answers you seek come when you stop trying to be something or someone you are not, when you quit wishing or thinking you need to be different than you already are. Accepting who you are, just as you are, is the key to greater happiness.

I wish my formative years in school had taught me more about how to figure out who I was at my core, or showed me how to embrace and utilize the talents that made me unique, instead of instilling a feeling of lack in me because of my differences. For years I tried so hard to be like everyone else, only to find I didn’t even like the person I became. I wanted in that moment of realization to go back to the days of my youth, before I convinced myself I was not enough, to sit under my favorite tree and breathe, daydream, and just be happy in my own skin. It was in those early years and those quiet moments I recall not “trying” at anything, and in those times of just “being”, I was happy and I was enough.

After I started on my ridiculous quest to be “perfect”, the noisy voice in my head constantly told me I needed to do better. I was always striving, achieving, comparing, and judging myself against everyone I met. I kept myself busy “doing”, so the mean voice would have nothing to complain about. It didn’t stop her, and it became overwhelmingly exhausting to stay ahead of the inner reproach I heard. When I came across a person with great natural talent, I did not celebrate their talent with them as I should have, I worried that I did not possess the same. I judged myself and deemed myself lacking in every area. It went on so long I truly believed I had no natural talents at all, and considered myself a failure.

I wish I had been taught at a young age that talent comes in all shapes and sizes, that not everyone needs to like or be smart at math, to remember dates in history, or to know their geography. If I could gather up all the time I wasted trying to shore up my weaknesses and instead had focused it on what I did easily, what might be different for me today? Maybe I would have written that book by now. Why do we not show our little ones that natural talents can be things like inclusivity, empathy, creativity? My sensitivity is a natural talent; I understand that now. Being highly sensitive to your surroundings, to energy around you, knowing what people mean even if they aren’t speaking the words out loud, seeing the big picture, making connections quickly, having the ability to adjust things to make others feel comfortable, those are not things everyone is born able to do. I wish I would have accepted these as my natural talents a long time ago.

Certain talents are more outwardly recognized and appreciated, especially in work situations. But all talents deserve to be applauded and utilized. In my opinion a baker who creates unique creations without a recipe is just as talented as a robotics engineer. We all have our own innate abilities, and those are what make us unique beings. I believe everyone is their happiest when they are working from their strengths.

I guess what I am really saying is, the secret to happiness is within all of us. We all need to uncover, discover and utilize our own natural talents. The talents that lie deep within us need to be shared in order for us to shine. Life is not supposed to be lived continually swimming upstream, rather it should be doing what we do best, and flowing through life with happiness and ease.

I hope in leading by example I can illuminate this lesson to others; the power is within you. Are you ready to unlock your own secret of life, find your natural talents, and put them to use? The time is NOW.

Dearest Granddaughter:

Be fierce not fearful.

Be loyal to those who’ve earned your loyalty.

Laugh with abandon and love with your whole heart.

Dare to be different, it will give you strength in the years to come.

Make a plan but always be willing to veer off the path to check out a new view.

Stay in your truth and you will never have to live surrounded by shame or guilt.

Respect the opinions of others even if you do not see eye to eye.

Their view matters as much as yours.

No one is ever truly alone, even if it feels like you are.

Ask for help when you feel stuck, lost or broken.

The lowest places will lead to your greatest healing. And growth.

You will survive after coming undone.

On the grayest of days, make your own sunshine.

On the loneliest of days, be your own best friend.

On happy days, share that joy with others.

On sad days let the tears fall softly without regret.

Always shine your brightest, purest light with confidence.

Stay curious little one, and never let anyone tell you to stop asking so many questions.

It is how you will learn the best stuff.

And when you need good advice, always search out the trees.

The trees will never let you down.

Photo Credit: Jan Bonner

One of my words to live by for 2021 is radiate. It is my wish and my goal, to shine my brightest light as I honor and recognize those who have shined theirs, and inspired me along my journey back to myself.

In the past year, I have seen many people navigate this unfamiliar world with such grace and confidence, like they didn’t miss a beat when their world turned upside down overnight. Some have even said that about me and moving my classes online, which I appreciate, but know it wasn’t always true. Behind the scenes there was, and still is, a bit of stress when things do not go as planned, which let’s face it, is often.

In some ways I think we all wish for our world to return to “normal”, yet I fear it will never return to the way it was, and I am doing my best to feel thankful for that. I am attempting to worry less about the future and instead look back at the resolve and the resilience I showed in 2020, no matter what was thrown at me. What if we view this new world we find ourselves in as a positive, as an opportunity to change what isn’t working for us? What better time are we going to ever have to make the necessary (but hard) changes to break out of our old negative patterns and begin to feel the happiness each of us deserves?

It is a new world, with new possibilities and opportunities.

I believe that “normal” as we knew it won’t return for a long time, if ever, and I think that we have a choice in how we respond to this. It can leave us in a place where we feel “stuck” and waiting for a past that won’t return, or it could leave us embracing a new world with the attitude that flowing with what “is”, is the best thing we can do. Let’s use this new world as an opportunity to take back the reins of our lives and grow!

I recently held a workshop and experienced the reflections of many who embraced the changes and searched within to find the positives that came from their 2020. Either they recognized personal growth, released negatives (people, routines, habits) that were no longer serving them, or simply realized they needed to make some changes to attract more joy into their lives. I believe we all have a right to be happy, to thrive and be loved, to be appreciated for who we are without conditions, and to make a difference in our corner of the world. When we find life isn’t working for us, and recognize that we aren’t happy or thriving, and are swimming upstream to the point of exhaustion; we have a choice. We can stay with what isn’t working, stay “stuck” in the negative patterns, or we can surrender to what is and let our lives unfold with intention and awareness. I believe we need to give ourselves permission to make things right for ourselves, by feeling our way through the doors of opportunity we face, no matter how scary.

We have the knowledge and power within to do what is right for us.

It takes practice to learn what things are right for us. I’ve spent the better part of the last decade figuring out what fuels my soul, what I need to change to find the “happy for no reason” feeling inside, and how to remain calm on both the inside and the outside. The journey has been up and down, the changes have been huge, and the result was so worth the effort. I consider myself happy from the inside out now, and as a result when I did my end of the year check in, I found I was so on track I need to keep doing more of the same in 2021. That was a relief, as for many years it has been all about recognizing and implementing changes I needed to make in order to grow. Age has something to do with being comfortable in your own skin, but so does time spent letting go of judgment, comparison and expectation. There’s a bit of planning and control I had to ditch along the way, to allow my life to have more creative freedom, expression, spontaneity and play. While there is always a nagging feeling down deep in me that tells me I have “so much to do” and so little time, I keep my actual to do list as short as possible. This allows me to take care of my needs, to take breaks from accomplishing and to just enjoy the present moment and where it takes me. I am so grateful the majority of my personal growth work on letting go of control and perfectionism, was done before 2020 hit, because those adjustments allowed me to thrive in an uncertain time.

During this whole crazy deep dive into me, and then deep dive into 2020’s uncertainty, I have learned some things about myself. I believe if we look closely, we all will recognize 2020 has helped us bring to light our strengths and weaknesses. I now know what I need to be the best me, what I need to say no to, what I want more of, and what practices work to keep me calm and strong. The most important lesson might be, I no longer worry about what it looks like on the outside, or what others think of me. If I live as my best self, with no regrets and no shame, I can shine my brightest. light. This is what the world needs more of, everyone shining brightly.

It is never too late to free yourself from the “shoulds” and figure out who you really are. The collective world needs us all to shine in our own unique way. We don’t have to always agree, but we all do need to work towards being the best version of ourselves, to lead by example, to spread kindness, to remain open to other perspectives, and to live as our truest selves. If I can do it, so can you.

Namaste peeps.

My Three Words to Live By for 2021

When this covid thing all began on the evening of March 11, I suppose I thought at first it was overreaction. GVSU had just closed campus thereby cancelling my last two classes of the week and those in the near future. GR Parks and Rec was just ending a session, so we were on “break” in between sessions after my class the next morning. Our March 19 trip to Napa, our first real trip away together since Disney in 2000, had just been cancelled as flying and airports and being anywhere but home didn’t seem like a safe place to be. I was uneasy, but not panicked, and being a homebody at heart, was not afraid of being stuck “in”. At first my granddaughter was still there with me, as through the first phase of shut down my daughter was still working. It was chaotic trying to be a teacher, a grandma, a playmate, and to embrace technology to learn how I could still teach yoga and Groove to my people, but it was doable. I found myself up for the challenge.

Deep down I knew that continuing to teach, even if in a new way, and with a totally out-of-my-comfort-zone feeling, was going to be important to my sanity and well-being, and would hopefully provide some stability to those who were used to seeing me in class. I got busy filming a variety of home practices in the quiet times between my husband working on some major second floor home renovations and Nollie being at her own home. I learned how to navigate zoom, how to film yoga videos, and tried to learn how to teach a groove class so the sound of the music and the sound of my voice worked together. At a time when many were finding themselves idle, I was very busy, and mentally exhausted at the challenges of adapting to teaching via technology and without a room full of people.

Among all the chaos, the scrambling, and being out of my comfort zone, I also noticed something unfamiliar filling me up; a sense of pride. In the face of unease and worry I was learning new ways to thrive. I was doing something with my natural talents of teaching, and putting them to use in a new way. My goal was not to create the most perfect looking video, or sound meditation, or even groove dance class. My intention was to shine, and share with the world (or at least my corner of it) some sense of normalcy and positivity and to provide them a way to take a class with me even if we had to be separated by space and time. I have so many people to thank for their support as I navigated my way through. Every texted or emailed thank you, every comment on my You Tube channel or on my Facebook page about how much people needed and appreciated those practices, kept fueling me to continue, especially during the times when I was ready to give up.

Each night I laid in bed awake between the hours of 3-5 am (worry?), I circled back to the feeling of pride for being able to help in some way from the safety of my house, and by doing what I loved. In the end the covid situation uncovered a way for me to achieve something that had been on my vision board for several years; living & working from my cottage for 1/2 the year.

I have been spurred onward by so many people who stepped up since last March to help the collective good using their natural talents, by sewing masks, volunteering to feed the hungry, teaching kids with captivating content online, helping neighbors and family members get food and supplies, decorating sidewalks with their beautiful chalk artwork, etc. Whenever a sense of helplessness and worry tries to invade my inner space as we continue to navigate covid, I reach for that pride I felt when I showed up to share my talents, as scary as it was. I take great comfort in knowing I helped in small ways; helping people connect with their bodies and breath, or dancing with them to lift their spirits and keep them positive and peaceful by shining my brightest light.

As a new year approaches, it is my practice to spend time in reflection before choosing the Three Words that will shape my new year. As I bring to mind my words for 2020, Adventure, Unleash & Thrive, I realize they have served me well (though maybe not how I once envisioned them playing out). I really had an adventure-filled year. I unleashed some new talents and amidst chaos, I was able to thrive. I’ve actually found a new way of doing what I love.

In contemplating my words for 2021, I’ve landed on three that I feel will allow me to continue to flourish and shine my brightest light, while also helping me to zero in on and fulfill my purpose.

Radiate-to extend, spread, to project or glow with cheerfulness & joy

Kindle-to start or cause a fire to begin burning, to set fire to or ignite, to execute, stir up or get going, to light up, illuminate or make bright

Embrace-to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly; to avail oneself of, to encircle; surround; enclose.

Whether you set resolutions, goals or Three Words to Live By like I do, I hope you find a way to live your best life in 2021 and utilize all you learned about yourself in the last year. Cheers to a new year filled with possibilities.

Namaste, peeps.